Deep Thoughts

America has been deprived. We tiptoe around booing as if it's rabies with a bad case of leprosy. You see, booing voices opinion.

Boo="We dislike what you're doing loser. How about you change."

I want to up the booing. Is this a bad thing? I feel as if we should boo during lectures, presentations, friend-to-friend talk, a car salesman pitch, and funerals. Ok, maybe not funerals. I just lost half my viewers. Not funerals! Because funerals need to be quiet. Yay, ratings up!

Booing is a loud sport. And a sport it is! Some people are good at it, and some people stink. You know the weak booers. Not Boers, those were Dutch farmers settling in Africa during the 19th century. I knew you might get confused...Weak booers just voice their boo so there neighbor hears it. That's sissy. Girly! Unless you are a girl. Well, then, you're mousy (to be like a mouse). Or weak. But I'm not being sexist!! Umm, umm. Women deserve equal rights! Whew, that was a close one. Also I just gave all my belongings to poor women. There. Everything is back to normal.

Then you have the Burly Booers. True Americans. Beautiful human beings. They voice a boo that rocks the rafters. Makes the paint melt. Puts the curd in milk.

But let's move to intentional booing. Let's take the booing from the sporting arena to normal life. Say, you have a friend who is in mid-conversation, just boo right in his ear. It is perfectly appropriate for saliva to go into his canal. That's one instance. Be creative. Say your teacher is just talking about sleep cycles. Stand up and give a good boo. Are you a man or not? Some people may join in. They might be booing you. Maybe not. You might feel like a fool. You probably are a fool for actually obeying satire.

Another idea, grab 21 friends and enter a library. You know where I'm going with this. Yeah, it's gonna be so awesome! Whisper to the librarian and ask where the non-fiction section is. Go there. Brush up on some light reading. Sit down at a table and discuss what you read with your friends. Wasn't that great?

Booing is essential to life. Seriously, doctors have proven that a low guttural vocalization is a must. Well, I'm doing just want the doctor ordered. I booed him right as he suggested Lipitor...