The plot thickens! See what happens to the McConnell family in this turn of events...I present to you Chapter 4...haven't read the previous chapters. Take your time, catch up reading at your own pace...
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Untamed & Restless
Chapter 4
Blake reached the top of the stairs, and walked to his room. The door was closed. Blake just stood there staring at the wood frame. Giddy with excitement, Benjie perched himself on the staircase. Benjie didn't have a room, he likened himself to a modern day hawkman. He had a nest and everything. He had let his finger and toenails grow out to about 6 inches. He was a literal hawkman. He would also occasionally preen himself when need be.
For the next 3 hours, Blake just stood there at his bedroom door. Benjie was getting UNTAMED & RESTLESS. I mean, who wouldn't? He was crouching in his nest for 3 hours straight. Think of the pain in the knees.
Blake had a reason for his unmoving self. He was reconsidering his world view. Pretty deep. Was life all about being Jewish? Yes, whatever Jews touch, becomes blessed. Things instantly become gold. Everyone knew that. But was he supposed to be Jewish?
Blake spun around and marched downstairs.
Just as he left, another black hole appeared and out popped wide-eyed Mrs. McConnell. She had just been to the end of the universe and back. She danced with Kalapogans, and speared giant Groygalls with the Sryjan fisherman. In 15 minutes earth-time, she had explored the universe for 5 years.
Glad to be home, Jean McConnell decided to go to clean Blake's room. Mrs. McConnell slowly opened her son's door. Benjie's trap was set in motion. The back up plan of Benjie's consisted of another black hole (the McConnell's really shouldn't have let Benjie take those "Witchcraft for Beginners" classes). Mrs. McConnell was again sucked in and sent to Nubulon 5. Here we go again...
Blake raced over to the computer and started searching the internet for a new religion. Tons of religions popped up. So many choices, so little time. Well, better try them out one by one. Process of elimination, am I right? He clicked on the first link. Buddhism. That link turned out to download a virus on his computer. Poopie. Start Virus-Scan. Blake waited 30 minutes. Virus-Scan complete. Whew. That was close. Thanks Windows!
Blake clicked on the same link. Virus downloaded again. Poopie.
Upstairs, Benjie was devastated. Could his brother Blake be immortal? Every attempt to kill off his brother was met with an amazing escape. Oh well, it was suppertime. His plans would have to wait. Benjie's stomach was grumbling as well as Mr. McConnell and Blake. Sometimes mom was just so lazy. How hard is it just to make dinner? Women.
But Benjie's thoughts were interrupted with a knock at the door. He peered out the window. He couldn't believe who it was.
America has tons of debt. Tons is too nice. Let's be real. Trillions of debt. So much so, you could fill Pluto with dollar bills and still have some money left over to create a small village economy. So, as Americans, what are we to do? After going on a 12-day fast, I found an answer. I really need food. So I ate some. Then I looked up on the internet on how to fix national debt. I received the typical information...
Return to anarchy.
Bring Lenin back to life.
Sell our government control to China.
Takeover Britain. Use it as farmland. Sell corn to France.
Or...create a Ronald Reagan Robot to bring back economic relief.
Of course, these ideas are typical. But people you're missing a very obvious solution. You just need to use your brains. Here's your solution: sell off North Dakota to the highest bidder. Now don't argue with me saying that this idea isn't feasible. Technically, it could be possible. Technically.
Have Obama say we're giving away some valuable land. See if he can hype up that North Dakota would be a great place for a colony. Countries just love that. And no. It's not so "1600ish." I'm sure it's still "in." Colonies are all the fad.
North Dakota's estimated value is about $750,000. Not bad. It's not much, but it's a start. Soon, we'll be on our way to saying "I'm debt free!!" with Dave Ramsey. Of course, we might lose California in the process too.
The moment you have all been waiting for! Chapter 3 of my first novel has been released. I know you all have been pulling your hair out in anticipation. In case this is your first time hearing about the novel, don't rush. You can catch up by reading in chunks. Here are the links to chapters 1 & 2. It's a thrilling novel. Don't get hooked and read it all at once!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Untamed & Restless
Chapter 3 
Thoughts raced through Blake's mind. What had just happened? Another failed attempt at a Bar Mitzvah? He had finished his Torah reading and was proud of his performance. But there were no girls wanting to peck kisses on his cheek. No praising from his parents. No friends to...well he had no friends, so forget that. No manhood awaiting him. He was trapped in the adolescence chamber, and the key lost in a haystack. And it was a golden key, so it would be pretty hard to find in the yellow hay.
The car turned into the driveway of the middle-class household. Benjie was antsy. Behind the front door awaited Blake's worst nightmare. This horror was Benjie's final touch to finish off Blake. Blake would be gone, and Benjie could take his rightful place as the only child. This dream had been around since his birth. Benjie had tried many different strategies of eliminating his brother: the "it's just a toy gun" approach, the "go into this mysterious gas chamber for me" approach, and even the "step in the fire and stay there to become a wizard" approach. All failed. Mom had always walked in at the wrong time. Bummer.
But this time nothing could go wrong. The family got out of the car, and as always, Blake would be first to enter the house. He was always first inside the house. For the past 25 years he had. Weird. But he had. It was "his thing." There was no reason behind this phenomenon.
But today...today was different. Blake stopped. Yes. In mid-walk. In mid-Jewish walk. And mother passed on the left! NASCAR fans would have been jealous. Father McConnell was a NASCAR fan. He cheered mostly for Jeff Gordon. Gordon recently announced his Jewish ties with Nicodemus the Pharisee. Many a Jew became a NASCAR fan that day.
So, Mrs. McConnell reached the door before Blake. Blake's attention had shifted toward the next door neighbor's house which was currently on fire. Oddly, no one paid any attention. Blake did for a few seconds then followed mom inside. I'm sure the fire department would be by.
Benjie's evil smile turned sideways into a face of horror as his mom opened the door. She took one step forward. Oh no! The trap was set for Blake, not mother! Mother fell into an a bottomless pit. And she was gone. Who would cook dinner?
Blake took another stop in mid-walk. And just stared. Where was mom? She was in front of him just two seconds ago. Maybe she went upstairs. Hmm. Well, better get working on next year's Torah reading.
The black hole sealed up, and Blake went upstairs. Benjie's mouth dropped. Another missed opportunity to get Blake. Luckily, he had a backup. And the backup would be unleashed as soon as Blake got in his room. Benjie slowly closed the door. Flames of the neighbor's house continued to burn in the distance as Benjie pondered his next move.
Mr. McConnell called for his wife to make dinner. He was looking forward to the matzo later that night.
