Deep Thoughts

After reading all my fan mail, I have seen a reoccurring theme. “Write a Novel! Write a Novel! Please I need more time to waste!” I hear your pleas, and I couldn’t agree more. The time has come to do what all men dream of. Write an overly thought-out book that no one will buy. So, over the upcoming months, I will publish a chapter a week from my thrilling novel. As of right now, I have no idea what genre the book will fall into. It could be horror. It could be comedy. It could be women’s fitness. Who knows? But hears the first chapter…

Untamed & Restless

Chapter One

The morning sun grazed the top of the horizon, gently kissing the edge before plopping itself in the sky. The sky said good morning, and the sun nodded back. This morning felt fresh. So fresh, it seemed odd.

Blake stepped onto his stoop and gave a long stretch. He had been awaiting this day since his birth. Bar Mitzvah! Blake was to become a man. For the past 22 years, Blake had failed his Bar Mitzvah test. He could read Spanish, Latin, German, and Hindi. But Hebrew was his burden to bear. For two decades, Blake had remained a boy. A hairy boy, but a boy nonetheless. Now at 34, overweight, and balding, Blake was excited to become a man, a man that had a life, a man with no parents in the next room.

His father, the synagogue Rabbi, sat at the dining room table reading his Torah. Sadly, his father had Tourettes. Every time a “twitch” came, he jolted his arm. Coffee spilled everywhere. This scene happened every morning. Then, Mrs. McConnell would wipe the priest’s shirt off and chuckle. Oh how she loved that man. She married him for his religion, nothing else. She was very Jewish, so the marriage was sweet for both.

There was a failure in the family though. His name started with a B and ended with E. Yep, the other son Benjie. What? No. Not Blake. Blake was bad. Overweight and bald. But not as bad as Benjie. Benjie was UNTAMED & RESTLESS. Insert overused dramatic music.

The family jumped in the car for the long ride to the synagogue. Dad pressed play on the CD player. Gentle piano music played in the background as the family zoomed down the highway. The family car was acquired through a business deal done by the father. He had traded his Star of David diamond necklace passed down through generations to the sweaty car salesman. It was quite a controversy within the Jewish community, but it seems the McConnell clan was on top.

The car turned into the synagogue parking lot. The place was packed. This day was Blake’s big moment. He was to become a man at age 34. And no one was going to get in his way. Or were they? Benjie wore an evil grin upon his face. He had been a man for 10 years now and proud of it. He was UNTAMED & RESTLESS. The family scooted into the pew. Blake took center stage. He opened his Torah. Benjie’s smile slowly started to grow.