Go back in time. Before Edison. Before Mr. Bell and his telephone. This is a time of ideas. Where you can go to bed at 6:00, and no one call you crazy. Where butter is churned, people say hello to strangers, doors are left open. Dinosaurs are still dead. And Pocahontas still loves John Smith. Yes, my friends, this is the age of civility.
I think we can blame all our troubles on electricity. It is a cursed fundamental to our civilization. Edison knew he would corrupt America. Rumor has it he was an early Communist. And I'm talking early.
Many of you are furious that I can accuse such a great inventor of being Communist. Don't worry. This is satire. No need to get your pants/dress into a knot. Fisherman Bend style (another wasted boating allusion).
So as a dedication to my protest against electricity. I will no longer use it...starting now.
So, anwyuawy, leaife ias gud annnd thinas r sai nicae. I hop ye anjoy thae blaogg. SAny noa toe electieaycity!!
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