In honor of NBC, I'm going green. I have completely lost my mind, and I value the earth above all else. So step aside all you greed-loving-tree-killing-capitalists, because here I come, ReCycLe is here. Notice I put some capital letters in my superhero name. This effect should cause intense emotion for mindless Americans to follow me on my journey to take down Democracy and save little animals and spruces.
Here are my plans for making the world greener:
1. All major motor companies should accept my design concept for the new methane-gas-powered car. Think about it. The Toyota Toot. There's one good thing Americans can make: methane. There are advantages to being overweight. Good work America.
2. Spray paint brown lawns. That'll make the world a little greener.
3. Since my name is ReCycLe, I like to recycle. Anyone who refuses to recycle will face capital punishment. Simple as that. Hey, you may think that's harsh, but sometimes green needs to see some red. Plus, I believe in reincarnation (or as I put it...recycling). You don't recycle? How about life as a pig? How are those hooves treating ya?!?! I got thumbs. ReCycLe strikes again!
4. Require all children to be hypnotized into thinking that "being green" is normal. We've got to reach the next generation. Offer lollipops if they refuse.
5. If none of the above tactics work, we must pull out plan G. Need I say what G stands for? Out of our green headquarters in the NBC Studio, we start emitting our propaganda. And just like a mirrored WWII Germany, we turn NBC into Hitler's lair. Take that Capitalists! Green shall rule the world. And we shall have blonde hair, blue eyes, and green lawns.
So pick up your pitchforks and grab the torches. I'm feeling a revolt coming on! A revolt for a greener tomorrow. ReCycle out!
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