Deep Thoughts

Ok. This post may blow your mind but stay with me. I need to lay some foundation before I go on. What exactly is socialization? According to the world renowned Dictionary I have written,

Socialization is the process whereby a person learns the norms, cultures, or ways of life of his social position.

To put it simply (because my dictionary is for intellectuals), it's the process that you learn to fit into this world. As a child, boys are taught to be boys, and girls are taught how to be girls. Girls like pink. Boys like blue. Girls like butterflies and ponies; boys like tanks and food. That's socialization. We are taught how we are supposed to act.

Ok. Step aside from the sociology lesson. Let's get to the meat of the blog post. Socialization flipped.

In addition to my schooling, I have also been running a research facility, and I'm ready to present my findings. Along with my colleague Dr. Kemper, we have quite an interesting experiment we would like to share with you.

We took 250 infants, 125 boys and 125 girls, and we socialized them opposite of their gender. Boys would be socialized as girls. And girls would be brought up as boys. We started this experiment back in 1996. I was a ripe age of 7. I understood much (10 seconds of silence).

Anyway, back to the findings.

The boys were taught to love pink, talk like girls, cry whenever possible, and cook. On the other side, girls were taught to hunt, make fires, and watch football. Typical guy actions.

To get consistent results, both boys and girls had robot parents. This way the kids wouldn't be confused about gender roles. And we had some robots who wanted to adopt. So we hit 2 birds with one stone. Pretty good I think.

Now, many people, literally 90% of Americans, questioned if this experiment was ethically correct. As of right now, the kids are 12 year old freaks, to be completely honest. What are we supposed to do with them? Our experiment is over, and we're ready to send them back to their families. The boys love to sew and take baths, and the girls smell really really bad.


What kind of psychologist am I? What have I done? Well, next time...I'll never do this experiment. Yeah, next time. Now...where did I point those Doritos? Biggest Loser is about to come on...