In light of the rising temperatures this summer, Deep Thoughts would like to offer a few home remedies to cure your painful sunburn. Our medical facilities located in Santa Ana, California have tested many rubs, ointments, utensils, and latex-oriented products to discover the best relief to a pesky burn. We have separated each "relief" into two columns: "Worth a Try" and "I Sure Wouldn't."
So first, let's look at the "I Sure Wouldn't" Column.
---I Sure Wouldn't---
1. Sea Urchin Acupuncture: although recently considered a "fad," I sure wouldn't...
2. Cheese: very deceptive
3. Generally any form of acid
4. Velcro
5. Banana Boat's Aloe with a Hint of Hot Sauce (Walmart-$8.69): upon testing, participant went into cardiac arrest. So...I sure wouldn't.
---Worth a Try---
1. Silk
2. The New Iphone 4: it can do anything!
3. Butter
4. Peanut Butter
5. Raw Bacon...if it cooks, that's a plus!
6. Godiva Milk Chocolate
7. Ice Cream, Hot Fudge, and Banana, hold the peanuts
You may have noticed a majority of the "Worth a Try" column being food items. So, if the remedy doesn't seem to be relieving any sunburn pain, look on the bright side. You are currently covered in a delicious decadence.
Good luck faithful readers! Hope your sunburn can be cured quickly and harmlessly. I gotta go. My bacon is looking good and crispy.
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